June 17, 2009

The Wine Merchants Party

 

Each liquor has certain tastes

     Each with a different quality

But I bet you did not know

     Each liquor has a distinctive personality

 

Let’s join the party

 

For starters the real man walks in

     The daddy of the liquor family

He has the strength of ten men

     And bares the tough nickname J.D.

 

Next is the hopeful son

     Who will always wishfully dream

That he’ll fill in his dads shoes

     With the promising name of Jim Beam

 

The mother wines around the house

     Fearing that everyone knows

She will never calm down

     For she inherits the name Wild Irish Rose

 

The other son is the rich one

     Always fighting to be legal

But he knows the courts won’t agree

     For he was acquitted Chivas Regal

 

The neighbors are the life of the party

     They are all the swingers

For when they come over alone

     They always manage to pick up Two Fingers

 

Then there’s the guy that cannot get a date

     But comes over for the helluvit

He dresses in a dashing white suit

     And leaves in a gloomy Black Velvet

 

Next is the guy who speaks so loud

     Everyone can hear with Talker

The girls love his shape and body

     But wear earmuffs next to Johnnie Walker

 

Well at some point you had to figure

     Who would bring the cake and candy

And not to my surprise

     Walks in the great Napoleon Brandy

 

With all the men getting drunk

     It’s time to get risky

So with the first dance

     We join Miss Almaden with Canadian Club Whisky

 

And due to a recent divorce

     And a new lease on life

Out on the dance floor

     We see Paul Masson’s ex-wife

 

Aerobics has helped out this new figurine

     Every guy knowing he can’t fail her

We get to watch the gracefulness of

     California’s own Miss Taylor

 

Now with everyone on the floor

     We’ll finally say hello

To a couple of real winers

     Known as Ernest and Julio Gallo

 

So with the party in tact

     And nobody being bossy

Mr. J.D. sends home the bouncers

     Also known as Martini and Rossi

 

But now it is getting late

     And everyone leaves the party

Except the maid, Miss Inglenook

     And the butler, Ron Bacardi

 

So I’ll say goodnight

     With my good friend Yukon Jack

We’ve written this story together

     And now we are both gonna hit the sack.

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